just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
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Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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