We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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