Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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