11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
This girl is more easily done than said...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
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Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
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All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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