I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
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Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
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he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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