that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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