Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
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she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
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Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
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