My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
