Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Sober January is a disaster.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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