OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
