Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
