this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize