OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize