yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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