the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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