Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
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