I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize