So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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