Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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