): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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