i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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