Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize