How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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