weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Bring me that man meat
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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