trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
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Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
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there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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