HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
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She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
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I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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