Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
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They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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