The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
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Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
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He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
we're so committed to being not committed
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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