if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize