i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize