in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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