he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize