Walk of Shame. In a state park.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize