I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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