so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
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