when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize