the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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