I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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