just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize