dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize