so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
do nipples grow back?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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