dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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