Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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