How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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