i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize