I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize