we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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