I met the friendliest cop last night
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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