Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
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I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
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tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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