you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
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They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
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When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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