I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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